So here’s an interesting question for you: just how important is laughter when you want to seduce your mate? I think that we can all agree that humor and laughter are very powerful emotions. It takes a lot to make us laugh and when we do, it can be quite difficult for us to stop. However, does any of this have anything to do with seduction?
One of the best quotes about the power of laughter on a relationship comes from Joanne Woodward (who was married to Paul Newman for over 40 years). She described it perfectly when she said, “Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but a man that can make you laugh every day, ah, now THAT’S a real treat.”
A romantic social network, Zoosk, recently did a survey of their readers. What they found is that overall, 74% of women and 87% of men think humor is an aphrodisiac, but it has to be the right kind of humor. People prefer someone with a “goofy” sense of humor, and they don’t want a partner who’s sarcastic or likes bathroom humor.
The survey revealed some other things about the role that humor can play in a seduction. 59% of women said they’ve had their feelings hurt when their partner went too far with a joke, and so have 40% of men. 64% of people said a sense of humor is the MOST important quality in a partner. That’s five times more than good looks or intelligence, and four times more than financial stability.
How To Use Humor To Seduce Your Partner
So now we get to the real heart of the matter: if humor can play a role in a seduction, just exactly how should we go about using this powerful force. It turns out that laugher is tied into our biology and if you can tap into it, you can cause some powerful chemical reactions to occur in your partner.
Laughing out loud releases endorphins and oxytocin, naturally occurring chemicals that help to relieve stress and increase feelings of well-being and belonging. Oxytocin facilitates a greater sense of trust, which is important when establishing new relationships or renewing existing ones.
When you are able to make your partner laugh heartily, it floods his or her body with these feel good chemicals, making it easier for them to open up to you and start once again building a foundation of trust and intimacy. Better yet, laughter is contagious which explains why many of us feel more relaxed and happy among more extroverted people with good senses of humor. Ah ha! Now we’re getting somewhere.
Not All Humor Is Created Equally
Before you go running out to the store to buy that “book of 100 jokes”, I think that we need to have a talk about what kind of humor is going to help (and not hurt) your seduction efforts. Use the wrong stuff and you’ll drive your partner away, not pull them closer.
When you are working to seduce your partner, you need to use laughter in order to laugh at yourselves. Jokes about a priest, a rabbi, and someone else going into a bar can be funny, but they are going to allow you to hold your relationship up to your partner and make them laugh at some silly aspect of it. When both of you can laugh at yourselves, suddenly your relationship goes one level deeper.
This is why in that survey sarcasm and bathroom humor won’t help you to accomplish your seduction goals. They turn the attention of your partner away from you and the relationship. They may or may not find what you say to be funny, but you will have caused them to stop thinking about your relationship and that’s not going to move you towards your seduction goal any quicker.
Go For It
So now you know. Forget the flowers and the chocolate. What your partner really wants is to laugh WITH you. This is not necessarily going to be an easy thing to do. In order to make them laugh you are going to have to really know them and what makes them laugh. However, knowing these things is what being in a relationship is all about.
Use your knowledge of your partner to uncover new ways to make them laugh at you, at themselves, and at your relationship (along with you). As you do this watch your partner start to have deeper feelings for you because of the moments of humor that you’ve been able to share.
Good news – your seduction is working!